What's it gonna be- democratic rule or megalomania era?

What's it gonna be- Democratic rule or megalomania era ??

It has been an interesting few months since I last communicated. I attended my family reunion in March in Kochi where the 6 of us siblings met and enjoyed reminiscing about the ‘good ole’days’ and enjoyed good food along with laughter and those priceless moments to treasure!  My oldest sister who is a nun turned 85 and she has not lost her sharp wit and humour which was delightful to experience. We also celebrated another brother’s 74^th birthday as well. I baked my hummingbird cake with cream cheese icing for their celebration which was a big hit.  

My brother and wife travelled from the US for this reunion and I travelled to Kochi by car and had a great ‘acting driver’ who got me there in less than 4 hours! Unlike highway travel in the US, there are no rest stops where women would be able to find ‘suitable’ toilet facilities- so I usually stay dehydrated, sipping water like wine until I get to my destination!  Having a car and driver at my destination has become important for me so I can have the freedom to just come and go as I need, instead of depending on others for transportation.

It is an interesting concept of having drivers available when you need them to come and drive your car, whether it be local jaunts or outstation tour. You pay them a minimum rate for the first 4 hours of Rs. 300 which is about $5 and every additional hour at Rs. 50 or about 90 cents! For outstation duty, you pay Rs. 800 and per diem for food of Rs. 200. There are agencies that are in the business of providing drivers- they have profiles of drivers and their background checks and they hold the driver’s original license- one needs to give them an hour’s notice based on where you live and they will send out a driver according to your request. After a few trials of drivers you can even request a particular driver if you feel he fits your comfort zone as far as driving and knowing the city etc. I still experience some level of gender bias which as is the case so ingrained in the men that I don’t know if they are even aware- buying a laptop, smart phone, paying the restaurant bill etc. is still in a man’s world over here- the sales person doesn’t even look at me when I ask the questions, hand over my credit card and keep taking the bill to the man at the table even though I requested the check!

So the big news in India right now is as the Times of India calls it “the dance of democracy”- I have never experienced the chaos, name calling, communal rifts, tiffs, violence and amazing flurry of activity like the current times in India! There are 543 seats being contested for the lower house or Lok Sabha and numerous parties that are either going it alone or aligned with the 2 major parties in India- the Congress and the BJP.  So few women candidates are in the fray which is a pity considering the heightened dialogue currently about the status of women in India.  In the last general election in 2009, the Indian electorate was estimated to total approximately 714 million individuals, out of whom around 415 million actually cast a vote. Voting takes place in different times across the country and counting of votes will only happen on May 16^th. Some states in the Northeast have started the voting already. In Tamil Nadu it takes place on April 24^th.  A model code of conduct has come into force with immediate effect restraining the state government that is in power from making any new announcements that would be seen as an advantage with voters.

The election commission has been charged with ensuring that voters are not ‘bought’ with money and other goods- so they do roadside spot vehicle checks to see how much money one is carrying- you are allowed to carry up to Rs. 50,000 without documentation. Any higher amount must have the documents to show whether it is your business sales that is being taken to the bank etc. I have been stopped 4 times and once was even videotaped while I counted the cash I had in my purse for the officer!! A few times, I gave these fellas a hard time and communicated only in English which infuriates them and they start speaking in Tamil to my driver asking why did he not explain that this is a procedure mandated by the election commission! Of course these vehicle checks for unaccounted cash being transported to voters have yielded more than what the officers hoped for. Many criminals on the run have landed in the police net and several unsolved crimes have been cracked and stolen gold jewellery worth over Rs. 270,000 has also been seized in the state! Apparently the road that I live on has been the scene of many seizures and I wonder if the fact that my license plate being from Chennai makes me a target for these checks- since much of the money does come from outside this area.

I am in the process of getting my retirement home built. I have gorgeous views of the mountains in the north and west – similar to feng shui, the Indian equivalent is vaastu and I’m trying to ensure that the home complies with vaastu principles. It is an elaborate system and I’m glad that my architect has a good vaastu consultant to help with the details. I will be living in a village that has a local government system called the Panchayat and I must say that the people in this village are very hospitable, friendly and willing to help as much as possible. I anticipate that my retirement days will be filled with interactions that are just more simplistic, no frills and better connectedness with people and nature.

In fact the wind in that area is great perhaps because of the mountains making the heat more bearable as a result. Speaking of heat- we are in a heat wave with temperatures in the upper 90- 100 degree F which is hot for Coimbatore since we are so close to the mountains. The nights and mornings are very cool and comfortable. Of course Chennai is in a worse position with the heat wave. Seems like weather changes are happening all across the world.

I will be visiting the US in June for about 2 weeks and hope to connect with a few of my friends. Until the next time enjoy your springtime weather before the heat sets in. Do let me know how you are doing – I love to hear from you.

Fizz, Fizz, What a relief retirement is!

Hello Friends

A very happy new year to all of you! It has been a long time since I wrote to you- my move to Coimbatore has been the best since my relocation to India. I love the simple lifestyle, quiet surroundings, enjoying the natural beauty of trees, flowers, birds that keep me enthralled and aware of how wonderful it is to be home again.

My greatest pleasure right now is my retirement from corporate life as of December 31, 2013. It is such a relief to be out of the rat race although in India it wasn't as bad. Now I can focus on my next phase of life - finding some property, building a home for myself and a training centre for village women. My dream of "Paying it Forward" has been delayed but not quashed yet. The series of events over the last three years in India has taught me to develop a lot of patience, learned to deal with a greater level of ambiguity, understanding that people don't always respond in a timely manner or at all and that ‘what's meant to be will be’... These are not easy lessons especially for a highly energetic and hot headed woman like me! Perhaps the universe is helping me learn to live in harmony with and incorporate some of the simplistic and relationship oriented values of village life.

I have started using my free time engaging in activities that help me build on my long term desire to support the underprivileged community. I have volunteered to provide spoken English classes on Saturdays at a middle school not far from my current home. I had 40 students from 6^th to 8^th grade with very varying levels of understanding and speech fluency. I bought posters with pictures and started with a number of questions that are possibly so very basic for us but incredibly helpful for these students. They love to scream out their responses and I had to raise my voice to discipline them about side talk! They were not familiar with nursery rhymes- so I had a little fun with a poster that had a few of them. I have recommended to the headmistress that I need to meet each grade separately in order to make this meaningful to them.

I am also providing customer service modules for a hospitality course run by an NGO called Unnati. They train students for 70 days preparing them for careers in hospitality, para-medical and retail sales. So hotels, hospitals and retail companies provide the sponsorship and Unnati engages volunteers to provide the training for 4 days of the week and they work as interns at the respective sponsor locations for 3 days a week. Then these ‘graduates’ get placed in the company

The biggest challenge here is that most of the students have only completed their high school in the local medium of instruction and are expected to be able to converse in English as well! So I use signs and slow talk in English to get them to understand my communication- then I have them role play various customer interactions. I am amused at my own pronunciation of words that seem to be familiar to their ears and gets them to smile at my efforts! They seem to be engaged and interested in learning to speak even if it is a faltering speech- after all we all started somewhere and practice gets us to a greater level of confidence!

I am also providing customer service training at a friend’s resort outside Chennai in a tourist town called Mahabalipuram also called Mamalapuram- she moved from Vancouver back to India after selling her popular Indian restaurant and has created a great restaurant L’Attitude 49 that features global cuisine. Check out her web site www.grandebayresort.in

I am still working out the bureaucracy around getting some property and hope to have some positive response in a month or so. I have learned so much about doing business in India- I had so many unanswered questions about what a person who is a citizen of the US but with an overseas citizenship of India allowed to do in terms of land ownership- interestingly, I found a free legal forum www.pathlegal.in where you can post your question and lawyers from all over the country will attempt to give you a legal opinion- if you pay a minimal amount like $6 you will get even more opinions and can keep asking additional questions on the topic for 48 hours! You can then rate the lawyers’ opinions and if you paid for the service, your payment is divided among them!

I have been reading about the extreme weather conditions in the US and hope that all of you are managing well. We have a mild climate right now with temps in the upper 80s- 90s during the day and in the 60s at night. I will be attending a family reunion in March in Kochi where my sister lives- the remaining siblings from my family (6 of us) will get an opportunity to catch up on life, reminisce and share about our past and enjoy some great Kerala cooking since my sister is a wonderful cook.

I am slowly getting better movement of my shoulder after rotator cuff repair surgery- physiotherapy is not easy- but absolutely necessary to regain my use of the right arm! So I try to get to the Ortho Centre at least every other day to get scolded by the physiotherapist for not doing all the exercises and he makes me stay there for supervised attention for an hour!

Hope to hear from you when you get a chance- in the meantime have a great Valentine’s Day!

 

Adjusting to life in a Tier 2 City

It has been 5 months since my last update and my life is taking a different turn with my relocation to a Tier 2 City called Coimbatore. It is west of Chennai and close to the border of Kerala. 

Coimbatore used to be called the 'Manchester of South India' with its textile mills although that is not the primary industry now. It boasts the second largest software sector in Tamil Nadu with the leading giants like Cognizant and other BPOs based in the city. Coimbatore is also at the base of the Western Ghats which is a long mountainous range now named as a UNESCO World Heritage site and considered one of the eight "hottest hotspots" of biological diversity in the world. It extends all along the western side of India from the states of Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, Goa and Maharashtra.

The mild, salubrious climate is one of the major reasons for many folks to move to Coimbatore and I certainly considered that factor when I decided to make my permanent residence on the outskirts of this city. However, I am more and more convinced that global warming is not a figment of the imagination but very much a reality! Coimbatore is no longer as mild in temperature as it was just 20 years ago although still relatively cooler than Chennai.

Where I now live is surrounded by the Western Ghats and home to many wildlife, gorgeous flora and fauna. I love waking up before the sun peeks out and take my 30 minute walk within the gated community watching the birds just enjoying the daybreak with loud chatter, squirrels starting their search for nuts and gorgeous butterflies and bees flitting from the Bougainvillea to Rangoon Creeper to Oleander of various shades of pink, red and of course white.

The canopy of ‘Gulmohr’ or Royal Poinciana is in full bloom right now all over the area as well as the amazing powder puff, the gorgeous yellow clusters of Cassia tree and other flowering trees whose names I must now learn especially the beautiful lilac clusters just hanging down almost to the sidewalks.

As usual with the heat of summer come fruits that are some of my favourites- mango, watermelon, papaya, mangosteen, lychee, passion fruit and pomegranate. What is disappointing this year is the quality of mangoes due to the drought and weak monsoon of last year. I am glad that I had the opportunity to enjoy the varieties of mangoes last year and hope that next year will produce a better crop as the weather experts predict a good monsoon.

I am enjoying my new quarters on the west outskirts of the city in a village called Vedapatti. I live in a 3 bedroom villa with a large balcony on the second floor and have beautiful views of the mountains. I managed to bring all the plants from Chennai and they have all started blooming again adding to the greenery around. I have seen peacocks sitting on top of the neighbour’s roof and my driver who lives a kilometre away tells me wild elephants have been coming into the village in search of water.

The popular mountain around here is Maruthamalai, meaning ‘hill of vegetation’ and a temple dedicated to Lord Murugan is built at the top. It is believed that many plants of medicinal value grow on this mountain and there are a number of ayurvedic and health clinics in the area.

My full time contract with the company will end in August and I am preparing for that change by starting my search for some property to build my retirement home with solar energy, rain water harvesting and water recycling along with organic gardening. Surprisingly more folks are checking out solar energy possibilities in Coimbatore making it easier to find architects and builders who have the expertise and experience. The state has also set a mandate to institutions that a percentage of their energy usage must be derived from solar- it would be great when they actually provide the incentives to encourage more investments.

I am also networking with folks to identify an area to start my women’s training centre. I met with the district collector who is the highest civil servant for the city to get his view on potential villages surrounding the city. He mentioned a few and when I asked him for his thoughts on my plan to equip women with skills, he was reticent to offer any saying his job is just to follow the dictates of the government? I can see that my journey is fraught with a few challenges- although there are many who have shown enthusiasm and excitement to be involved- so I’m encouraged and elated at the same time.

Living in a tier 2 city does mean that you are not able to have access to various foods and wine like before! So I’m investigating other possibilities so that I do not have to be totally deprived of a few pleasures! On the other hand, being so close to the Nilgiris mountains where I grew up, I’m able to get fruits like peaches, plums, cherries even Haas avocadoes that are fresh. This is the best season to visit the hill station and I hope to be able to do that next week.

Ooty at an elevation of 8200 feet, is well known for its annual flower show that is a spectacular display of colour and variety of flowers- each year they try to add a new species brought in from another country to add to the diversity. There is also a wonderful vegetable show that takes place in Kotagiri a town not too far that has brought tourists from all over. The district collector has had an ordinance against the use of plastic bags for a few years to reduce the garbage that seems to be choking the wildlife in these mountains which are all now part of the UNESCO World Heritage site. The Nilgiris also has a very old matriarchal tribe called the Todas where the woman married all the male members of a family! Of course today that practice is largely abandoned.  

I plan to visit the US late July for a few weeks- I hope to be able to see some of my friends as time and schedules permit. Please keep in touch. I love to hear from you.

Warmest Regards

Reflections on an India thrust into the 21st century

Where do I begin?

The past few months have been filled with wonderful experiences as well as deeply emotional, gut wrenching horrific atrocities around caste and gender that leave me reflecting on the India I knew many moons ago to what it has become with middle class capitalism? Or is it that with technology, we hear more about the seething rage over our differences that has existed for a long, long time?  Suicides, homicides, gang rapes have filled the front pages of our newspapers, along with heated and expressive protests and discussions on expectations of the government and judiciary to restore order as well as raise the bar of consciousness around accountability, decency and communal equity.  As I see it, India is on a collision course with the old and the new in a country of contrasts with for example; the affluent living in close proximity to the slum dwellers, successful women entrepreneurs who nevertheless continue to deal with stereotypical notions of their abilities, women both educated and illiterate being exploited, harassed, and treated as chattel and the steadfast belief that God not man has created the separation of castes.

I keep asking – so what is my role as an individual in society? Most of the ‘models’ of the past – the ‘male leadership’ model, the ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ model, the ‘tolerance of differences’ model – one that Gandhi is quoted to have said ‘tolerance presupposes superiority’ have arguably failed us miserably in today’s very complex, complicated and interconnected world.  Yet the average person in this mosaic of regional, religious and ethnic diversity especially in the urban landscape has somehow forgotten his/her responsibility to make this country great- it’s almost like a blame game where none of us is accountable for our actions?

Against this backdrop of gloom and melancholy, I had the pleasure of participating in a wedding of a good friend’s son here in Chennai. Consider this wonderful mix of cultures in this marital arrangement of Bengali and Punjabi- two warm, relationship oriented cultures where laughter, food, drink, dance and merriment are the order of the day!

My friends live right off the Thiruvanmiyur beach in a gorgeous home about 7,000 sq. ft. spread out amidst the beautiful landscape of flowering trees of champa (plumeria), and enormous banana and tropical ferns. The cool sea breezes and the gorgeous perfume of flowers with the beautiful array of Christmas lights mixed in with the holiday colours of red and green keep my spirits buoyant. Special teams of cooks have been preparing lunch and dinner on the verandah for some 100+ guests just wandering in and participating in various pre-wedding events for 4-5 days like the pooja in honour of the couple, mehendi (henna painting) for approximately 50-60 women. Of course an open bar adds to the festive ambience! Apparently, mehendi signifies the strength of love in the marriage and so brides try to leave the henna on for as long as possible!

Festivities continued with Sangeet party (also called Gaun) where family and friends shower the bride and groom with dance, music and laughter the night before the wedding itself. Traditionally, only women celebrated the Sangeet but now it has become co-ed and an opportunity for the families of the couple to get to know each other and become more comfortable. Lots of music, food, drink and enjoyment are the main ingredients for this all night party! Storytelling and jokes about the couple’s courtship days as well as good wishes for their future and choreographed dances are also part of the festivities. It was truly a grand spectacle of women in the traditional dress of anarkalis, sarees, gagra cholis in colours of pink, orange, mustard, red, purple, electric blue with glitter and gold. I must admit that most Indian women seem to have a natural penchant for colour and wear their dress with so much grace and a hint of sensuality even though they are not professional models! The men in long tunics and sherwanis of raw silk pastels complement the women’s attire so beautifully. The food catered by a good friend of mine who moved here from Vancouver was such a gorgeous eclectic feast of Asian cuisine.

The wedding ceremony was preceded by the baraat- where the groom is brought to the temple on horseback- what a spectacle it was!  At the venue, both the groom and the bride were hoisted on the shoulders of some strong men who then garlanded each other before entering the temple. The priest was so good in terms of his ability to help the guests understand the significance of the various rituals- like tying the end of the bride’s sari to the groom and walking around the fire as part of their life together.  What I found most amazing was that the ceremonial rituals actually respected both the bride and the groom as equals in this marriage.

The men in the family wore colourful turbans that were actually long scarves wrapped around the head with the ends flowing down in the back. Their colours of reds, mustards and blues were complemented by the bejewelled women in sarees made of exquisite silks in the most vibrant colours decorated with gold weave and incredibly beautiful! I saw more versions of wrapping a sari at this wedding since we had Punjabi, Bengali, Gujarathi, Tamilian, Telugu women wearing it in their traditional mode- of course the modern hip style of saris makes it even more sensual especially with blouses that have plunging backs, with tassels,  beads and sequins that sparkled in the lights.

This wedding event was a wonderful way for me to end 2012- it has been 2 years since I returned and my life has been filled with beautiful experiences that have plunged me into the Indian cultural scene yet keeping me grounded and pragmatic around some of the challenges that continue to be part of living in an India that is grappling with balancing tradition with 21^st century progress.

My hope for 2013 is that we will awaken to the need to be accountable to ourselves, respect our differences and expect our system to be aligned with the 21^st century ideals.

  A Happy and Prosperous 2013 to you!

What Works- Compliance based on Rules or Judgment?

Hello

Wow! the heat has finally subsided to a moderate level in Chennai. We have had occasional rains that help to cool things down although rain brings with it a host of infrastructure issues like storm drains not in place, standing water and traffic snarls.

Schools have been open now for over a month and roads are crowded in the morning with children of all ages in uniforms going to school carrying heavy backpacks. They are so neatly dressed, young girls with hair in neat plaits, shoes and socks or sandals and little colourful ties and belts. Boys in crisp trousers and hair combed and glistening with a touch of hair oil! Reminds me of my days in boarding school many moons ago!  What amazes me is the sight of so many children being transported by adults on motorbikes, scooters and bicycles! The first time I saw a motorbike with 3 children and 2 adults I almost freaked out thinking - that is most dangerous and surely against the rules! All my years of living in the US complying with rules of safety for oneself and those around you is all I could think of in the moment. Rules do exist here about the number of people allowed on two-wheelers- seems to me the police don't enforce the rules?

My girlfriend then gave me a different perspective on life in India- the fact that parents of all economic strata are so focused on meeting the educational needs of their children and will do whatever it takes to ensure that they attend school. It often is a risk riding on a crowded motorcycle or scooter- however these parents are often strapped for cash and must make many sacrifices for their children's education. Some schools do have school buses available- although the majority of children walk to school which is just as dangerous on the crowded streets of Chennai! I guess parents are trying to use their good judgment with the sole mission of ensuring their children have a better future! Despite all the publicity on societal upheavals and a growing intolerance for differences based on caste, religion and gender, it is heartening to see that education continues to be high on the agenda of most parents- after all these children can make or break this nation.

Of course we do have folks who believe they have sound judgment and interpret the law to their benefit- Often I’m sitting at a red light late at night when there is no traffic and watching others just whiz by using their sound judgment! Others are upset that we won’t move and start honking their horns and I’m often tempted to do the unthinkable- finger language, although I wonder if it would be understood! So the dilemma continues for me- when can we use sound judgment as opposed to just 'adhering to rules' because they are the rules? Is there room for pragmatic wisdom or does that entail a more mature constituency? One that truly embraces a democratic state that is inclusive, respectful of 'other' and supportive of the community interests and rights?

I'm sure you have been following the atrocious acts of molestation of this 19 year old woman in the Northeastern state of Assam. The price she had to pay for rejecting the advances of a TV reporter who then decides to get a mob of bastardly men to start molesting her as she leaves the bar and calls his TV crew to tape this horrific scene. What could be going through this 19 year old's mind and the emotional trauma caused by gutless men who respond to mob incitement! Then I read about a young woman who was being harassed by a group of men on the train that she commuted in and not a single person in that crowded train came to her rescue. She was pushed out of the moving train by these thugs and is recovering in the hospital- her only response to this tragic situation was that 'no one came to my aid'! Reminded me of the story of Kitty Genovese in New York in the sixties who was screaming for help from a rapist and murderer and no one responded at first. Imagine 10 years later Sandra Zahler faced a similar fate in New York with apathetic neighbours who did nothing hearing her cries for help.

Yet the last episode of the TV show hosted by the actor Amir Khan showcased individuals who make a difference in the community. He had a vegetable vendor whose husband died since they could not afford doctor's fees in 1971 and she vowed that one day she would fulfill her dream of providing free medical care to anyone who was in need. She had to send 2 of her boys to an orphanage since she could not feed them and worked as a manual labourer, saving enough money over 20 years to buy some land and built a hospital some 5 years later and it is run by her doctor son and other committed docs with free medical care for the underprivileged! What perseverance and determination to fulfill her vision of the impossible! Another story that touched my heart was of a 9 year old boy who attended school knowing that many children in his neighborhood were deprived of an education- so would rush home daily and teach his neighbors what he learnt that day and now at 19 is running a school for disadvantaged children in his community. He has teachers volunteering their services to the school. These stories are so inspirational especially since my dream of a Women’s Skills Training Centre is yet to be fulfilled.

India is truly a land of contrasts and an enigma to so many- You really have to be open to seeing both the genuine love, generosity and hospitality of her people as well as the dark, dreary and violent side. Considering the 1.2 billion population, luckily we have more of the positive although the negative gets more attention. However being vigilant and mindful of the atrocities committed and taking action in one’s own way is critical to this nation’s prosperity.

Here is my poem contemplating 65 years of independence and our responsibilities toward this great nation. Enjoy...

                     Celebrating Indian Independence Day

August 15, 1947

India on the brink of a freedom revolution
Unfettered from the chains of colonial powers
Still burdened by caste, class and religion
Determined to refute naysayers’ prediction
Of India’s doom and dire destruction

Sixty five years of glory and achievement
In education, medicine, arts and entertainment
Expanding the range of human potential
Contrasting both the good and the evil

Bollywood, Kollywood and Tollywood
Offering the masses false hopes and glamour
Even mastering the art & glitz of Hollywood
Making us more vulnerable to acts of terror

Looking back on the years of freedom
Have we truly created a nation?
Inspiring and motivating its people
To free themselves from burdensome tradition
Treating all humans as God’s great creation?

Let’s reflect on the privileges that we’ve been given
Knowing that not everyone has the same option
We have a responsibility to our nation
To eliminate greed, violence and corruption
Restore love, order and compassion
If we hope to be a global leader of nations
 ©Cecy Kuruvilla  2012

Moving the Needle of Change slowly but surely

This past May has been a scorching month with the heat index higher than last few years. Power cuts have been an additional burden on both- middle class and poor, young and old with the rural folks hit the hardest. The heat brings other maladies as well- Dengue fever and malaria mosquitoes have been a source of great misery for many families in the south of the state. A number of deaths have been reported due to Dengue fever and so a concerted effort is on to encourage people to be more vigilant about standing water. Corporation officials are now checking homes for water in flower pots and fining the residents- Clean Up or Pay up campaign is on! So a dilemma for many who were encouraged just a few months ago to place water outside for birds during the summer heat! Do you pay a fine and live with a few mosquitoes that may or may not be a carrier of dreadful diseases or be kind to the birds that also need to find respite in this heat!

The recent Supreme Court ruling that cars cannot have dark film on the windows has created quite a stir in the country. Terrorism takes its toll in so many ways- one of them is giving up your privacy in the vehicle in which you travel. So cops in Chennai have been stopping cars and imposing a fine of Rs. 100 and they get a ticket warning them to have the film removed. If they are caught a second time, the fine is doubled and folks are forced to wait in queue to have the film removed on the spot. That is an additional cost -Imagine sweating and being completely drenched and clothes sticking to you in this dreadful humid heat while you wait for the cops to have the job finished! Might as well get it done before you get stopped by the police!  So now we have a few entrepreneurs offering to remove the film for a price!

More good news and bad news- bad news first- dowry harassment continues to be a major challenge and it is incredible to read that more educated families are the culprits of this outrageous practice. In the last 5 months of this year, over 230 cases have been registered and 22 deaths have been reported in Chennai. The posh South Chennai communities apparently have been the perpetrators of this horrific practice. It is amazing to read that parents who pay for their son’s education as doctor, engineer or lawyer etc are viewing the dowry as one way for a return on their investment! Despite economic progress and women’s empowerment initiatives across the country, women are still being bought and sold like cattle!

The good news is that more women are willing and courageous to report dowry harassment from husbands and in-laws although the conviction rate is low. Nevertheless it takes an extreme amount of courage and familial support from the woman’s side to pursue the case and expect some relief and change in how women are perceived and treated. I am saddened that so many women have paid the price of their life to move the needle of change ever so slowly. The Supreme Court has recommended life terms for those convicted of brutal dowry deaths which is a sure sign of progress!!  

In the midst of all this, I just read in the Toronto Star that due to infanticide, child marriage and slavery, India is the worst country for a woman according to a global poll of experts and Canada is the best, the same poll concluded. We do have a long way to go and I’m confident that we will slowly get there- what amazes me is that the highly touted notion that education will rid the society of its ills just does not pan out- instead the more educated and affluent members of our society are also the perpetrators of many of the social maladies around caste, gender and religion.

I am so delighted that Aamir Khan one of the very popular and highly successful actors has started producing ‘Satyamev Jayate’ - a fantastic weekly TV show dealing with such provocative topics like female foeticide, child sex abuse, medical malpractices and health care disparities, effects of pesticides like endosulfan and a return to organic farming. He brings in the experts and provides both sides an opportunity to be heard so the audience can make a decision independently. He also gives victims an opportunity to share their experiences and the show on the effects of endosulfan was so tragic and heart wrenching to watch the congenital defects as a result of heavy spraying of cashew crops in north Kerala State for 25 years! The show has clearly become a hit and has made lawmakers take action as a result of the show- the Bill protecting children from sexual offence was passed 10 days after the show aired!  State governments are also responding with immediate action based on information highlighted on the show. Now that is the kind of impact I have been looking for from these Bollywood (Bombay), Tollywood (Telugu), Kollywood (Tamil Nadu) actors!! I only hope that more actors would get involved in social activism and leverage their cult status to bring needed change in this society.

I recently had a full medical check -up at the Platinum Lounge at Apollo Hospital. It was an interesting experience since it is set up on a floor all its own and a nurse is dedicated to help you move through all the various departments to get the tests done. So I arrived at 8.00 a.m. and a nurse took me to a private sitting room where she did the blood tests and then I was taken to another doctor who took my medical history, then I had the ENT tests, my vision, gynecology and heart check with EKG and a 320 CT Scan. Then I was given a breakfast of my choice and whisked off to another hospital centre for bone density and mammogram tests. Apparently this centre used to be solely for women but is now open to all as a result of protests!! Why does this not surprise me! Finally I am provided consultation on the test results- all is well as far as my health. I was delighted that my cholesterol dropped by 50 points from the time I lived in the US! I’m still puzzled as to what brought about the change? Is it less stress, more fresh fruits and vegetables, a greater level of comfort and acceptance of who I am, a less complicated and more simplistic lifestyle, the joy of being home again…??

So until the next time, have a blast on July 4^th and enjoy your summer. Look forward to hearing from you.

A Cultural Cornucopia

Wow! It has been 5 months since I wrote to you about my experience in India.

Much has changed while a lot remains the same. I have moved to another apartment in South Chennai on the 4^th floor in a true penthouse environment with an 800 sq. ft terrace and a 10 minute walk to the beach. The folks in this part of town tend to be a good mix of locals, NRIs (Non- Resident Indians) and foreigners. I am close to all the stores that sell the kind of produce and meats that I enjoy, making it a much more satisfying experience for me. What is fascinating despite the very urban, crowded environment with population bursting at the seams, infrastructure not in pace with the growth, is that there still is a large human touch element to services being rendered. It feels like some of the small towns in the US where you still get free delivery of groceries and dry goods, meat from the butchers, medicines from the pharmacies, and many other services including a personal trainer who comes 3 times a week for 1.5 hours at around $13/each visit!

My personal trainer strongly recommended that I consult a renowned sports physician for my rotator cuff problem and the doctor has a great practice. The reception area is a large room with many chairs set up in clusters to facilitate one of the staff members to complete the form, do an assessment of your medical needs, identify history of the problem(s) and then presents it to the doctor who checks your areas of concern and prescribes a series of physiotherapy sessions.  He hit all the sore points for me and it was done in about 5-10 minutes. The consultation is $10 and I set up my session with the physical therapist for the next day. It was interesting to see older Indian women who were there for therapy as well- it is a common room with three therapy tables set up for 3 female patients to be treated if needed. I was so intrigued by one of them who was very conservatively dressed in a sari, with jewellery that identified her traditional roots who was probably in her 70s. She got up on the table and one of the exercises was to lift one leg up and cross over the other leg- surprisingly, she had a pair of Capris under the sari- even the therapist got a chuckle out of that!

The most challenging issue for me is the power cuts that are scheduled for 2 hours each day and 8 hours once a month- so they change the schedule every week- and you try to manage your life around that. The 8 hour cuts are just awful with no air conditioning in this heat. There is an inverter in my apartment that switches on automatically and fans and some lights work. No electricity to power refrigerators or microwaves during the power shut down. Apparently, politics has a lot to do with the current power deficit- the politicians did not anticipate the tremendous growth and need for more power in the state and the Electricity Board is run in such a dismal manner with no regard to  infrastructure development.

Of course we had quite a show down recently at the nuclear power plant to be commissioned with Russian technology, where anti-nuclear activists had the local fishermen community up in arms against the start up of the plant despite safety assurances from experts and the ex-president of India, a renowned nuclear scientist.  Many factors played into this scenario- some have argued that US and other European countries were involved since they did not get the project; the severe power cuts had the state residents up in arms about the shut- down of work at the plant; the state chief minister played her cards by refraining to take any action either for or against until after the local bye-election. Then she sent a large contingent of police and guards for the forceful removal of protesters and work is back on target! Now the central government is investigating whether some of the NGOs are involved with subversive activity against the country and has blocked all foreign funds into their accounts.

It is scorchingly hot in Chennai and with the heat comes the avalanche of tropical fruits- gorgeous mangoes of so many varieties, beautifully luscious figs, sweet aroma of jackfruit, so many varieties of melons- musk, cantaloupe, watermelon,  lychees flooding the market and strawberries from neighboring Sr Lanka and mangosteens that are both slightly tart and oh so sweet (see picture below). This is my first introduction to mangosteens and I have thoroughly enjoyed this fruit. The gorgeous contrast of the white fleshy pods encased in the rich burgundy inner rind with a dark purplish outer layer and the color combination of the vibrant green leafy top against the purple exterior is so appealing to the eye.

Of course Chennai is also well known for its seafood and I have started taking the trip to the beach market near the famous Marina Beach.  The crabs have been so good especially when cooked with the Singapore Black Pepper seasoning accompanied by a good mango salsa and a chilled glass of white wine- enough to forget the worries of the world! The past few weeks the government has a 40 day moratorium against fishing since it is the spawning period- so am glad I stocked up on my seafood.

I love going to this market since the selling of fish is done by the women under thatched roofs and once you buy the fish you take it across the lane to the men who will clean it and cut it up according to your needs. The women will clean the shrimp for you- but I like freezing the shrimp in its shell. You get to bargain with the women and it is fun chatting with the women and getting to know about their lives- they remember you and they even noticed that I had changed my driver! They are just as curious about me and what I do and why I returned to India- so I like the interaction while enjoying the seafood shopping.

I am taking an active role as a co-chair of the Religion and Philosophy Committee of the International Women’s Association. It should be an interesting assignment, planning the various lectures, events and discussions on topics related to religion and philosophy. I am planning a panel discussion with experts and researchers on why women have been relegated to a submissive and secondary role in most world religions. Even the so-called enlightened ones still seem to have no interest in changing the role!

I also noticed that there are many more divorces happening especially to middle aged women who are just not ready or prepared for a life of being single. Many are devastated and angry about the turn of events and feeling a sense of deprivation leading to victimisation. So a friend and I have started the No Strings Attached Women’s group (NSA Women) to provide a forum for conversations, dining out, doing fun activities, networking and entertaining with other women. Apparently travel groups have started in India for women to travel with other women- so the trend is on- being single is replete with opportunities to fulfil dreams that might have been shelved for family reasons, building meaningful relationships and bonding with other women and being supportive and understanding of challenges faced by women.

So Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers- may you continue to shower wisdom, energy and love on your family and your community.  

Hope to hear from you- blessings of summer abundance to each of you.